Friday, August 28, 2009

Following the message

Well, LOTS has transpired since the last entry. I did indeed get accepted into Finger Lakes School of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, in Seneca Falls, NY. I packed up 9 boxes of books and clothes and special mementos, sold or gave away the rest of my earthly belongings, and drove out to New York with the aid of friend Kathy. My energy level, and my level of calmness improved with each day closer to New York. I told a number of friends "this feels SO right...I have no qualms at all about this move....and is the first time I have felt this comfortable with an intended move."

Here I Fairport, NY right now, at my sister's home. Sleep has been variable, depending on the amount of stress for that day, or food consumption. My heart palpitations have dissipated considerably, much to my happiness. It seemed that the moving process was a help for getting me stronger. I can see how over the weeks my fitness level improved, to the point where now walking 10 to 15minutes at a time does not bother me. Stairs...I still take it easy and keep my mindset calm. I had some descending colon pain last week, which Dr. Guo relieved via increasing the DACH formula.

About 1.5 weeks before leaving, I began to visualize what I wanted for housing....I thought it would be nice to live on Lake Cayuga. A very specific scene popped into my mind....sitting in the front room, at dusk, overlooking the lake which was actually below the house level, and there were 2 trees over to the right, and a fire pit in the middle. The college sent me a listing of housing advertisements, and on a Sunday morning I started making calls, focusing on lakeside or lakeview housing. One in particular stood out, on Seneca Lake, the next lake to the west, partly because the woman was charging so little compared to others, but also because as she described it, it sounded like the scene in my mind. Then she sent me a link to the real estate ad (it had recently been taken off the listing), and, sure looked like the vision. Needless to say, I felt very drawn to the potential.

I arranged to drive over and see her place last night, and since I was driving back from Albany (dropped off Kathy at the PineHaven B&B, where Doug was arriving so that they could have a family reunion with daughter Brynne and her fiance Bronson), she offered to let me stay overnight. She also had called me earlier to say that another woman had inquired about one of the rooms, and would have her join us. I arrived first....the outside was neat, the inside was damp/mildewy, cold, drafty, creaky, rooms were very small, 3 large dogs, the boyfriend was a very shy man, the woman was overly talkative but very nice, and spiders inhabited many corners of each room. I was beginning to doubt this vision, things just weren't feeling right. Ida, the other potential renter arrived...I had a sense of familiarity with her. We talked a bit longer after the woman and her boyfriend left, and decided I would call her in the morning to tell her my perception of the place.

Dusk arrived, and, sure enough, I looked out the front room through the porch, and there were the two trees, silhouetted just as I had seen. I had a very difficult time sleeping there....the dogs whined, I could hear the two upstairs talking, the water from toilet flushing/showering went directly overhead, the bed was just not comfortable. I woke up exhausted in the morning. The saving grace was the hot shower in the morning. I ate my breakfast, and left, panicked a bit....I felt drawn to drive down to Ithaca and look for decent housing.

Ithaca was cool....lots of cafes, a great natural foodstore, hip-ness all around. Moosewood Restaurant, unfortunately, was closed. My reflective listening buddy forgot our weekly phone call. Housing was VERY expensive in Ithaca. I felt like shit barely warmed over because of not eating well, driving all day, and not sleeping well. I was beginning to feel depressed. But, I wouldn't let my self go there. I turned north on 89 and drove up to Seneca Falls, not knowing why, except that I was to contact Ida in the morning.

A quick phone call to friend DeAndria..."Hi DeAndria, I need your support right now. This is what happened.......and then asked her to visualize the right living situation come to me which would be of support to my healing and schooling process.

I then called Ida as I got closer to SF, told her all about the experience at the lakehouse, and how I would not live there. She had the same feeling, too, and offered to meet me at the college to show me the housing list. We met at noon. Again, the feeling that being with her was comfortable. She is 47 years old, easy going, drives a Mercedes CL, likes to talk.

It turns out her situation was that she had arranged to sublet her apartment to 2 women, because she hadn't been successful finding a roommate, and would go into a shared housing situation herself. As she talked, I wondered "why don't I move in to her apartment?" So did she. The topic came up, she showed me her was nice. It felt right. She called the other women, and told them she had decided to keep the place.

So, with two weeks before school, I do have a place to live. I realized that sometimes a vision is not necessarily the end may just be the step to take me on the next step, and that it is important to just accept the vision, not get attached to it, and just follow the message, the gut feeling, and be open to where it leads.

Ida and I got keys for me, and I then headed back to my sister's place. I made a great spaghetti dish while Nancy made salad, and we ate with Katie and Grandma Mary in her apartment. Played with Casper, the wonder dog, until Katie scooped him up and settled him down. I felt this content I hadn't had in a very long time....feeling joy over being with people, feeling connected. And, my thought is, hmmm, I have a great apartment with a roomie who is going through school and we can help each other in the process, and I can drive over to my sister's for R&R with them as needed. Life is good. Variety, familiarity, proximity to is full, not just good.