It's has been a LONG time since my last post......indicative of the amount of studying we do in this program. This past week was intense, with two written assignments, a comprehensive quiz in Meridians and Points, a test in Theory, and my roommate continuing to act from a place of exhaustion and paranoia.
I made the decision two weeks ago that I would move out at the end of this trimester. No more trying to stick this out until April. It feels right to get into a better situation, I have learned my lessons with her......I find myself having compassion for her, for myself, and it is plain as the nose on my face that I have been viewing behaviors similar to those I acted on in my relationship with D. In their full force weirdness.....it has given me a sense of compassion towards what D. experienced living with me while I was very confused, tired, scared, and having grave liver issues.
I met with my advisor, Dr. Zhang, this week at the point where I was feeling unsure if I wanted to continue with the herbal portion of my degree (we have that option....acupuncture alone, or acupuncture and herbal medicine). She was very encouraging, explaining how the herbal portion is actually the majority of treatment in China, whereas in this country, acupuncture is emphasized. She also told me I had an aptitude for acupuncture/oriental medicine, and to hang in there. Nice to get that support. I went back to my herbal assignment, and found that sense of excitement, connection, again.
My intuition moved me to changing my treatment to the Seneca Falls Health Center last month to another one of my professors.....Darlene Easton....an amazing practitioner. Prior to going to her, I was struggling with the heart palpitations, easily drawn down energy. I had the sense that the student clinic/practitioner was not hitting things right with me. Darlene radically changed my herbal formula to that of working on my liver.....as the degree of phlegm accumulation/toxins in the liver were making it overwhelm the earth element, and my heart was then overworking as it wasn't being supported by the Liver. One day of the week, she and her students treat my back shu points.....acupuncture points which boost or tonify the energy of each organ....and place burning moxa on my Life Gate point (over the 2nd lumbar vertebra) to invigorate my essence or basic life force energy. The other day will be acupuncture on front body points, to address liver, heart, gallbladder, spleen issues. And more burning moxa over Stomach 36 Zu San Li or Leg 3 Li points on my lateral lower leg, to again invigorate my energy level. To build what is called Zheng qi......the Right Qi, the qi which forms the basic health and physiological functioning of my body. When this is lowered, Evil qi, Xie qi, can take over more easily......being more susceptible to external forces....wind, cold, damp, heat, dryness....and internal imbalances.
See, I am learning something here.....my body is my laboratory and teacher.....
This approach is all working very well -- I rarely have heart palpitations, and when I do they are very minor and it takes more "efforting" and tiredness to bring it up. My energy level bounces back so much more quickly and abundantly after a stressful week or situation (like, those with roommate.....). I am exercising 2x per week, much more active at school, tolerating entire days without energy crashes, and doing daily qigong, typically 30 minutes, somedays 1 to 2 hours depending on my schedule....which in itself, I experience, is also a big factor in why I am feeling better.
Sing the praises of Eastern Medicine......I would never have been able to heal like this without energy medicine, and the "no panic" mindset/understanding of the healing process from German New Medicine. In fact, I learned last week in Theory class what Dr. Guo meant when he said I would not have survived liver surgery. Liver yin, liver blood and essence from the kidneys are responsible for "anchoring" yang in the body.....keeping yin and yang in connection with each other so that each is capable of contributing their "expertise" to the body/mind/spirit. My liver was so "dried up" and lacking of yin and blood that if I had surgery, the liver would not have been able to heal properly, letting my yang lose connection with my body......which would have then created a cascade of health conditions, leading to death.
Sent chills through me......wow, my Spirit really is/was in tune with wanting to live, to stay on this planet, to heal completely. I cried and cried and cried in April 2007, a few nights after D and I went to Mayo Clinic, where the surgery option was presented to me.....I told her, in the middle of the night, crying, that I could not do the surgery, that my Spirit did not want the surgery. Chemo...hell, that would have just overwhelmed my body/energy, also...... So, I am still alive and kicking and growing and healing and loving, thanks to Spirit.
I know this is my mission, purpose in life.
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