Creating

"Do you think the main reason people don't visualize is because it's too hard or because it's too easy?"
~ Mike Dooley

Back in 1990, during the time I studied T'ai Chi at Pacific School of T'ai Chi with Chris Luth, I took a course called "Technologies for Creating." The major premise is that the act of creating is really a process of physics: create the tension between reality and one's goal, and stand back to watch the tension resolve itself towards the goal, most often times in ways wholly unimagined by the creator. Holy smokes, did it work! It worked so well, that I became afraid of it!!! Because, at the time, along with the actual result of creating, it meant to me I had to be responsible for my creations. Too much, aaaahhhhhh! I stopped using the process, and began to free form, let the chips fall where they may. Which, on some level, is all zen and good and beautiful......if you have the Awareness for it. If that is your goal. If you are willing to live with what comes your way. I am awed at some of the zen stories of masters who lived this way, in peace, knowing that, ultimately, the course of life didn't matter, it was how one lived with the course which really mattered.

I have also experienced in my life, though, the impacts of creating: because this process is inert, is really a Universal Law, it will spit out whatever you do put into it, and wow, have I ever created crazy stuff!! Lots of ego driven stuff. We get to live with what we create. That is what I meant by being responsible for one's creations. Taking ownership, acknowledging 100% responsibility for what your thinking, desiring created. Little by little, if one pays attention, you can start seeing patterns, what flows better for you, what doesn't, what feels like your deepest drumbeat, versus what is more like the cacophanous sound of the masses.

So, you know what? It is your choice how you are going to create. Try one way, then try the other. See which one suits you better, or use both, depending on the situation. Just know that, one way or another, there is a responsibility within you to attend to what you create.

Friend and fellow German New Medicine (GNM) student Ann-Marie was visiting this weekend, and we spent the time just in free-form discussions, following the threads of interests, insights and intuitions. As per my custom, I took an afternoon nap. While relaxing, getting to that place of letting go, my mind was wafting over my conversations with Ann-Marie. I realized how much I think and speak at times like Eeyore....oh woe is me, I don't do this anymore, I want to get to this point, etc. It dawned on me that this is my self-devaluation conflict which has caused my lymphatic enlargements...especially the one in the hypochondric region (right at the base of the ribs in the front of the chest)...the solar plexus....one's power center.....of course, explains it all. I resolved to draw my line in the sand, and separate the destructive negative thinking from who I am....which I experienced quite profoundly with Ann-Marie while we did a movement exercise expressing gratitude, courage, hope, and joy. I saw destructive on the left side of the line, and constructive on the right....the dynamic of these two mirrors the Creative Tension I spoke about earlier.

Then I hit on this combination the other day, of Dr. Cropley's integrity model (draw the line in the sand), the physical law of tension resolving itself towards the goal, and Angela Treat Lyon's discussion on how each and every one of us are the Center of the Universe....our own Universe....there is no way we can be the center of someone else's, as much as we may have tried. Together, the three of these give clarity, impetus and reality to creating. Integrity helps one understand how to figure out what is truly good, healthy and right for us. Center of the Universe concepts gives permission to own what we want for ourselves, instead of following someone else's idea of what is "right" or "spiritual", etc. And, finally, recognizing that we must be aware of those behaviors, actions which take us out of integrity, along with holding to the integrity thoughts and actions, intentions creates the tension to resolve our desire towards that of completion, embodiment, fulfillment.

1. The answers are inside of us. 2. Life will drag us along regardless of how much we fight it, so why not step back and listen, participate purposefully, and make the journey easier? and 3. Love is the guide...listen to it, believe in it, nurture it within yourself and with others.

May you have a wonderful, beautiful time creating what truly matters to you!

Namaste, Mariah