"Act with faith, Mariah. Prepare the way for your inevitable success. To the degree you can, behave as if your dreams have already come true, as if you already owned a iMac, as if later today you were going to regain a strong heart and be physically active. And you shall see the power you wield as the floodgates begin to tremble, the elements begin to conspire, people in your life begin to change, insights are summoned, comprehensions soar, and clarity is born.
Not to mention fierce, wild animals laying down when you pass by - "
The Universe (from Mike Dooley's website)
I received this two days ago. As I began to read it, I knew from my heart, gut this was something to pay attention to...."as if you already owned a iMac..." Ok, I now do own one. After desiring one for a long time, my Acer laptop just was not cutting it anymore, it was so loaded with background programs running that it would take 5 minutes to boot up. I rationalized it for months, "well, while it is loading, I will meditate. While the new page is loading, I will take deep breaths..." Finally, one day in April, while talking with Cynthia Lamb (amazing woman, spiritual counselor from LA), she said to me "come on, Mariah, you manifest things all the time, and from what I know of you, very easily. Why are you holding back on the iMac?" Yeah. My federal tax return arrived a day later, with more money in it than the figure I had arrived at....so, I went down to Best Buy, followed my bliss, stimulated the economy, and bought my iMac. The speed of it, the creative format of the platform, wow, I am very content with it. Having the iMac is what pushed me to commit to this blog, to writing, exploring this vein of information I live and teach to myself and people who listen.
Back to The Universe's message from Tuesday...."as if later today you were going to regain a strong heart and be physically active." Hmmm, this message is getting even more personable. I could see the iMac pertaining to many who get the daily message, no big deal there. But, this part.....the heart. I have been struggling since August with heart palpitations, anxiety, low energy. I have not been able to tolerate movement beyond a gentle dose of qigong, and even that my body did not want to do more than 2 days in a row. I have been a slug for quite a while. Work has been difficult, I have had to cut back on hours so that I could rest more. I have been doing less manual therapy techniques on clients, as exertion with my arms would make my heart go into palpitations. Both of these have been good for me, though. My heart has been my teacher, my weathervane, about how much I was not paying attention to my emotions, it would tell me when I would be doubting on a deeper level what I was doing with a client/where my motivation, intentions were coming from, and it would show me how filling my heart with love would act as a protectant....this would slow me down, get me into a place of letting my treatment decisions come from both my heart and brain, instead of 'shoulds'. I was aware, and others had pointed out to me in the past, that I really put way too much effort into my work, trying to 'do it all' and 'to do it all at once.' I have been learning through my heart to trust, to let my treatments be more simple, to give the patient time to ingest the message, to let Spirit guide my hands to the areas which really would need a gentle manual technique. And, the time off was allowing me to focus on my blogging.
But, 9 months, to learn this lesson? How long would this go on? I received last week the results of blood tests I had done earlier with Dr. Peri Aldrich, MD (my cool MD, she is way into wanting the patient to be in charge of their health, listens to her patients...my first appointment was oh, over an hour, we talked mostly about my path, my health, my needs!!). My calcium level was below normal (I have always been on the low side, but this was the second time I had it below...first was in 1996 in the interval between my surgery and my mom's diagnosis). Dr. Meyer addressed it by muscle testing me and finding that a Standard Process whole food supplement Cataplex F was called for...this helps with calcium metabolism....I started taking it last Friday. The weekend was its typical down energy recuperating from the week of work, Monday I noticed I felt better at work. Monday night I did not have the 'bump-bump-bump' heavy beating of my heart during the night. Then I read The Universe's message...."could I be getting over this heart stuff?" Yesterday at work.....I remarked to my co-worker "Renee....I feel NORMAL today....my heart has been quiet, not jumping out of my chest or racing." I had a busy day, and while I was not able to take a rest break at work because of the schedule, I was much more aware of relaxing in my sessions with clients, during our meeting, and when I got home. This morning, as I laid in bed, my heart felt relaxed. So....I have regained a strong heart.....and I trust that I will be physically active again, only this time, in a manner which is driven by my needs, not my competitive, angst-driven manner of the past.
"And you shall see the power you wield as the floodgates begin to tremble, the elements begin to conspire, people in your life begin to change, insights are summoned, comprehensions soar, and clarity is born.
Not to mention fierce, wild animals laying down when you pass by -" I am in this place of trusting, relaxing, no expectations, just watching for what may come next. No attachment, only enjoying each moment.
As I write this, I realize the birthing message behind this. 9 months.
"The greatest protection is a loving heart. Protecting yourself, you protect others. Protecting others, you protect yourself."
- The Buddha
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